Used to be able to write copious words saying nothing. Tonight … can’t seem to find the rhythm to it. That’s fine – ask me about Rumbly’s sleeping efforts this past week.
My sister sent this to me over the weekend. I think about him a bit, as I do, often – say his birthday the other week (great pics from his 75th), when the moon is full, when Rumbly says ‘daddy’ (!!!!!!!!!!). He was a quiet and stable part of my life – simple. I know I missed finding the true ‘Bob’ but I fear that’s part of my M.O. – not a good part, sadly.
Bits of the past have been stuck in my craw for the past half year – every day I run into the ‘wait – no, that was just weird. Gah – how fucking strange was I?’ and I am distracted, diverted, losing momentum on my race to find a stable place to lift up my incredible luck. For all of my love for the anchors of my past some foundations are shaken, crumbling. Luckily we are judged in the here and now.
I sit at a computer, listening to Amazon originals, looking at the grave marker of my dad and then a picture of Boo and her dad – and I have no idea how I get from here to there. Great thing is I get to walk the path and find out how it goes.
:: s ::
| Respice ad diem hanc |
//9:46p+04Jun2019=Tues night || echoes of Amanda from earlier, with cheryl, on keXp//