Even in August conversing with Blood is wonderful

above our heads in front of our eyes

From blood – “Do tell me about Esther day and hank & John – how’d you come across this lovely tradition?

Ah the internet. It’s perhaps ‘the sad machine’ but it is also an amazing place to find amazing things.

The original point of intersection with the Brothers Green … it’s not jumping up to the forefront of my consciousness. I’m sure it was a link from a link about a cool thing cool people were doing – was it John’s Night of Awesome at Carnegie Hall – John Green, John Darnielle, Kimya Dawson and others? perhaps.

“Don’t forget to be awesome” is the catch phrase – John & Hank Green seem to be fabulous people – that the Vlogbrothers use to sign off from any of the amazing variety of videos they’ve put on on the interwebz. They’ve given us foolishness, they’ve given us strangeness, and they’ve given us Crash Course, The Project for Awesome, a better understanding of the News from mars, a compendium of dubious advice, and the visceral thrill of following the third tier of English football league via the ups and downs of AFC Wimbledon.

I really wish I could share from my heart the truth about Esther Day – sadly I can’t. So click on thru, see a decade younger John and read the transcript and blame the dust from the bathroom renos for the watery eyes.

’cause as a jaded seen so much been so many places done lots and more … it seems that the answers to most of the adult human condition pangs might lie in the hearts and souls of kids. fuckin’ kids.

‘We’re gonna celebrate your birthday in perpetuity – what shall the theme be?’
‘family & love’ – from a 16 year old who was dying.

fuckin’ kids …

Love is universal. Family is universal. How we get from one to the other, what one makes you think of the other, well – I certainly feel lucky in that I recall love in our  home. I recall the hallmark platitudes … and as far as my memory replays we had a decent level of both family strife & joy.

How did we learn about love? How do you learn about love? How is love folded into the relationship we call ‘family’- I know I’ve loved people not related to my family as strongly as I have loved those who are family. It’s both exceptionally easy – ‘we’re family!’ – and so so so complicated. ‘we’re family?’

So perhaps I’ll take a plunge into the videos John and Hank have crafted over the last ten years, re-watch Hank’s vid from the other day. His note on traditions and how to embrace and make them your own.

Ok – this is going up now – a minute late but a few dollars short!

ciao,
scott
+++

:: ps ::
| Respice ad diem hanc |

“Don’t Forget to Be Awesome”

||10:20pm+4Aug2019=Sunday eve|Trueblood season 1 … the sex, the death, the set dressing!||

Powerful tools, even in July – lets us break bread and share!

landing v. crash pad = water v. foam

Been thinking, as I do, between the podcasts I pull down and play and the amazing time-sink that pressing ‘play’ on an interesting show on the Streams (looking at you Net-Prime!) – such as how to step up in the 21st century to be ‘better’ and how to get that done directly, before the next decade starts.

Well, getting away from your routine and seeing how the ‘other’ people live! and by ‘other’ what I mean is any other – friends, neighbors, countrymen. Folk on that side of the road. Really any one. ‘Cause that’s how you get ruts you can’t get out of – by fearing the ‘other’. so – that’s part of the plan on how to enjoy this 1st decade of the last century of my life. Whoooo-weeeee! Gotta have a plan, amirite?

Have I told you about TED talks? This one is kinda … sobering during these calamitous times. How about an analysis that our data is worth about $12/year to Facebook – how to turn that into value for us? How about our robot overlords won’t be good at leading kindergarten classes (imagine how that would go down – the 5 year olds have no mercy!) – or checking in on our elderly.

A dire comment about the middle class – which leads to ponders that make me feel … bad. and sad. So here’s to the end of the first decade of the new century!

Have I mentioned that I listen to lots of podcasts? Say one on cashflow via Facebook (seekers v. delivered information to people; not going on websites, not seeker, but recipient, deliver a message …)

||>- well, here’s another bit of … well – I have no idea. but I do want to put the words I’ve scrawled down in my digital clay.

/09:05a+02July2019=Tues morning || podcasts in one ear, getting cashflow from facebook -huh/

a rainy Sat morning, even in June

they have another brick in the wall on this album – wtf?

the power of technology – I’m dictating this entry from my phone while watching my kid play in our middle room.

The deluge from this morning’s storm caused a beautiful waterfall outside the big window, fortunately that means I should go fix the gutters. but this also means I have no excuse for not crafting posts.

I wonder if in my youth I would have not questioned whether a motorcycle oriented podcast crafted from my own so brilliant and witty thoughts would be a success, but now I question anything and everything I can think of possibly attempting. what a shitty stage in my life.

a new week, a new set up at The Fruit!

though I didn’t stick around for the techno dance party last night I did look into the celeb DJ’s hit ‘sandstorm‘ – it’s been watched on YouTube 115 million times! fairly impressive – & also yay durhamtown!!

well – this was (like everything else I guess) just a test of the emergency content creation system – had this been a real blog post I would have waxed nostalgic at least once, & probably shared a bit on how I’m feeling amazing watching my kid while feeling terrified & paralyzed watching my kid – perhaps next time eh?

ciao, from durhamtown. the Bull City!

::scott::

//8:59a+8Jun2019= Sat morn || all the rain, the dishwasher, the happy noises of a 25mo, a wonderful moment, truly//

Of feelings felt, oddly in April

a not so good beautiful day

A day that goes by remarkably is a fine enough day.

A day that goes by and causes you to find the moment, to realize things that are true but not often enough acknowledged – well, hard to say ‘we need more days like those’ when in truth we need to be able to start with acknowledging the true, eh?

I certainly have lived long enough to have experienced a few days where I was ‘in the moment’ – though luckily enough I can’t recall ever being actually there.

Yesterday was an odd day, with the episode starting with an exclamation point – buildings should shake, booms should only happen in mining towns. Un-knowledge follows – well, the crane outside the office window is still standing, so … that’s good? But what was that…?

An accident. A serious accident. That only minimal human suffering occurred can be credited to luck. So my travels after that exclamation point included some inside time, where unlike all the most recent inside time where I’m running being both chased by my yappy dogs and chasing them to make them stop, I was still, the pups at bay.

Guess I’ve traversed to the plane of being a parent all full and well. I both love the amazement of it all and – as of yesterday – keenly understand the stark difference this plane is to all the other moments in my life where things were happening and I pondered how it all impacted me. Yesterday, not so much the singular, eh?

Of course what I scribble here is nothing new. I suspect parents going back decades have had these feels. Joining this club is inevitable for those on a certain path.

all the reasons in the world

Kiddo  hasn’t been as committed to overnight rests as he was for the past year. Last night we comforted him early with us, and ended up with an overnight visit that allowed me to have a moment this morning where I got to be in the moment, sunrise gently illuminating his cheek.

May there be joy in your life today.

ciao,

Scott

|8:31a+11Apr19=Thurs morn | the whining of a doggo, the wee wee wee of a kiddo, at home|

“Working through the days with all we have”, oddly in April

A tome as a touchstone to own my troubled bones

Mark Nepo has a book called ‘the book of awakening’ – Blood gifted that to me at our big to-do last summer. It’s been a lovely reminder that a) there is reason to be hopeful, b) Blood has a heart as big as the Wyoming night sky, and c) as much as I flail, as much as I spin in consternation at how my life is going simple words of honest truths can still calm my spirit, show me the direction I can look to see the sliver of light under the stormy clouded sky.

How are you doing? Have you had a bit of joy in your life today? Might I suggest a small child’s giggles – they are, I’d argue, the most joyful thing in the world this morning.

Me – I’m struggling. I’m feeling quite a bit lost – like I’ve made it to the front of the train to look out the conductor’s window to note a) this is not the world I thought/wanted to be traveling through (lookin’ at you, MAGA-fuckers – the 50’s is a played out mentality and one that is quite dis-heartening – are a significant portion of the people in my country that dumb, ignorant, bigoted, or inherently hateful? fucking sad) and sadly the conductor is no where to be found, and thus I don’t know where we’re going (a 2 year old is certainly a destination that equals more than the journey!) or when we’ll get there (ya know, American train service, so unpredictable)

Trains know where they’re going, right?

So April. 2019. How do we get through? ‘Working through the days with all we’ve got’ – well, how to accomplish that when in actuality you haven’t enough? Enough money. Enough energy. Enough hope. How? Obstacles can be climbed, but for me, right now, it seems if I slow down to tackle one thing another three new ones rise to challenge any progress I perceive. Is it me? Am I unable to do the things that need to be done? Well, here’s the thing – similar to the kind and loving refrain good sir John repeats and believes – You Are Not Alone – well, we are. I am. It’s me and my thoughts vs. the world and sometimes I am not my best friend. So there’s that.

build your castle, even if you end up taping plastic to it

Obstacles. Solo efforts. Solitary. Alone. (outstanding in my field … ha ha ha)

How much to give? Why have I always withheld all that I can do? What the fuck am I waiting for? Thankfully all of my internal strife with amount to absolutely nothing; it’s only what I manage to grab a hold of, drag to my realm, and deem ‘of me and mine, now and forever!’ that will create the reality I need to have. Wish me luck, eh? The luck of a rabbit, white and hopping.

ciao,
Scott

//9:09a+1Apr2019=Monday || kexp’s evie spins gentle sunrising tones, including U2’s ‘One Tree Hill’//

Even in Jan … Sunday eve is tough

so tough that this isn’t even from Sunday. Merely recollections of a fevered mind. oh – wait – the kiddo and I – did we visit the girls? Huh.

when goodness and kindness is applied – durhamtown/seattle – 2019

I’m lucky beyond words. I know that. I’m as troubled and challenged as the next person (or ten) – but I am lucky. Say, taking the kiddo to go hang with friends as they finish up their holiday gift giving (seems Holidays with kids & partners isn’t as easy as, say, shooting your eye out with an official Red Ryder carbine action 200 shot range model air rifle), seeing my kiddo enjoy(!) the chaos, happily wave goodbye to the Fifi-master, and in tailing the tyke as he made his rounds I notice on the fridge, the love, the kindness, the goodness of the better twin. fuck. so damn lucky I tell ya.

Sunday eves are still a bit of a challenge – after a holiday break it’s even more of a challenge to attain the declared goals of ‘earlier, better’ – but we try. We have to. Set the model for the kid, right?

ciao! may you find joy in your day. ::ps::

//10:56a+8Jan19=Tues morn || keXp spins some truth – Arrest The President by Ice Cube//