and so we’ve made it to 11. One louder, as they used to say. Oh – used my incredibly basic skills with Premier to stitch it together so there’s that path stumbled down a few steps.
I’m finding that the repeated effort, along with a better understanding of exactly what it is I can currently produce/create – that’s a good thing. The whole 1000 pots metaphor. Still have strong concerns that this is a waste of everyone’s time, especially since I’ve not launched it to the public yet. could do that. Should do that. But … indecision. I’m really good at it.
Also been spending an inordinate amount of time in my head wondering about my history, trying to grasp the trait of ‘rigidity’ and how that has impacted me and mine. What might I embrace as a balance to that. Kinda stunning to see the past actions that line up under that heading.
in this ongoing pursuit of both imperfection and joy I have to say – snow gives me joy!
in this episode I note that I can be taught things. and I think that’s a good thing to recall from time to time. This brilliance comes from watching Forged in Fire with Boo (and fam last night) – I note with a critical eye the oddly amateurish mistakes made by talented folk with years and years of experience. I really shouldn’t but I do judge – if the design brief is for 5-7 inch blade, and you turn in an 8 inch blade … you missed a very important thing!
My inner voice, after such a righteous observation, then echoes ‘well, you know – they went on national tv and competed with others to make something. It may not have been perfect, they just might be practicing in public – but the had a time limit, they had a design challenge, and they finished what the could and stood tall to be judged by experts.
So Wallace – can you identify a time – any time – in your life that you managed to even show up for a competition?
And so I can be taught. I know I enjoy snow. I hope – as I take the effort to make something, something I know could be better but isn’t really great – and put it out – well, I hope I can be taught the joy in that too.
Right. Or at least not one of Darwin’s “I am very poorly today,” I’m having a decent day – also one with Hali. Pondering what to say, hoping things go well (they did- so woot!!).
It’s good to take a moment and have a sit and think, or a sit and video? It’s all a brave new world!!! One filled with similar and unique challenges – how to say something coherent, how to express an interesting story, how to share my joy, what brings me this joy, and how much I want you to also have joy in your life. I guess that’s what this journey may be all about.
Until it becomes clearer however enjoy some of Hali’s joy : -)
Sometimes you want to do something but can’t. Or you can’t get to doing it. Or you’re in the midst of something that totally overwhelms you.
So how about a time-lapse? Some pretty clouds in it at least.
I’m working on / struggling with what I’m doing here. What is the story – the Grande Story!! – that I’m working on getting out?
I don’t honestly believe it’s about me, not in the “Here’s the story of sir Edmond Kodak, the first human to take a selfie on Mt. Rushmore!” – I mean, how nice that would be but sadly, no.
So I will continue figuring it out – I have an idea. I have the thought that perhaps the path I’ve followed will illuminate challenges and actions that others might note for their personal adventures. That’s not too conceited, it is?
This effort is interesting – it’s the summation of decades of my internal voice now being expressed and captured. Shared, even.
Scary stuff. So very odd. But as I noted today perhaps that’s because I’m learning to crawl. Crawling along the floor of the Creator’s room, poking outlets with my somewhat out of control fingers. Wonder what’s gonna happen!
I sat at home tonight, catching up on a few of the channels I follow. I scrolled through my subscription ‘latest updates’ page – certainly felt out of my league. People know how to do stuff, and can make great videos sharing that. Me? Well … uh. Yeah. Not so sure about anything at the moment. Do know I love my kid, my wife’s amazing, and I have an incredibly supportive Blood. So that’s all good news.
I just have to believe that I’ll be walking in no time.
So, I did it. Totally not freaking out. Well, maybe a little. I suspect however that like a few other critical junctures in my life I’ll have few repercussions that are of the magnitude I fear. C’est la vie, eh?
Now, there seems to be a need for any number of ‘bettering’ actions. Um, having a clue – having the ability to make the video useable. Oh – smooth edits.
Alas those will come, and I will practice in public until then.
Is this my first blog? No. Does LiveJournal count?
Is this my best blog? No. Pretty sure early ’00s, I think I was pushing ‘TTocsland’ as my identity, because … really, no clue. I wanted to be cool or something. Ended up something.
This time around? Well, it’s to be a support vehicle for my attempt at YouTubing (vlogging? navel gazing? speaking out of my ass? whatevs) – who knows it may even work as a place where I start to go forward!
[ever onward, sometimes forward!]
Hope you stick around, visit from time to time – I’m pretty sure it’s gonna get better.
Sure – I can blog – words are not hard for me, and occasionally they’re pretty alright. Nearing ‘decent’ at times. Honest.
This – this! – this is harder though. What am I doing? Creating? Like an artist? Naw … that’s not what I do. Well, except the photographs. Sometimes. huh.
I reviewed the amazing effort Boo put in this past summer – just damn.
I ponder the efforts to work harder, and to enjoy the pursuit. Hell, even looking with four eyes I see both what I’d like to obtain – comfort, assurance, joy – and see that it’s a bit of the natural and a bit of the hustle that I worry I don’t possess. But it’s a new venture – nothing ventured nothing gained.
And as it was pointed (pointedly) out this past weekend – hey, Rumbly! (did I hear a ‘you fucker’ in there? maybe; probably. I certainly deserved it)